It is a good thing that I like the United States. I am going to be spending an awful lot of time there over the next few months.

It all begins with a trip to NYC and New Haven, where I plan on ripping up urban streets on my bomb-proof bicycle. I know I should wear a helmet, but I suspect that I will give into the temptation to purchase a vintage cycling cap and rock the city, just waiting for my brains to spill on the cold, wet pavement. (I hope it does not come to that.)

If I survive, and make it to New Haven, things will be calmer. There will be nothing encouraging me to drive quickly, or to trackstand in front of fancy libraries.

When I get to Iowa, I will be bikeless, and begrudgingly reflecting on the ridiculous amount of money my flight cost to attend this conference. I hope to meet some bright people. If not, it will all have been worth it anyway. I will get a chance to see a new school, and set foot in the midwest. I will purchase a sandwich when I get there.

Then I make way to Pittsburgh. Before I get there, I want to make it Chicago. I have persons to see there, and a desparate desire to bike to that famous track bike store there: Yojimbo's Garage. I will rock the rolled-up pants, cruise the city with books in my bag and eat unhealthy amounts of meat. This will prepare me for a month of sitting in logic classes with logic nerds when I make it to Pennsylvania.

If all of this does not sound like the best way to kill a couple of months, I do not know what does.