The choice I ought to make is not as obvious as I had hoped it would be.

The question is not so much whether I would like to go here or not. It is this. Do I want to be a philosopher? If I do, then I have solved the dilemma. But is this dilemma really a dilemma? Or do I recognise that, in my effort to break out of discourse to an arché beyond discourse, I have provided the most curious dimension of all?